One year of Positive Perspective

This month marks the one year anniversary of my personal "call to action" to write this blog. 

Positive Perspective was started because I have a passion for everything positive and believe that life is just better when you are an optimist. I wanted to share my philosophy with others, and create articles relevant to my philosophy. I also have a passion for people, and hope my articles have assisted others in coping with their daily experiences in  life.

 

I sincerely believe when one's thoughts are focused on appreciating what they have, recognizing their unique talents and abilities, not giving up,  committing to action, striving for excellence and improvement, displaying humility and seeing the good in others...... amazing things start to happen!

 

I write many of these articles  as a reminder what could be, or should be.   I also write to remind myself regarding what I could or should be thinking and doing. 

 

The 32 articles I wrote over the last year ranged from the serious to the whimsical, and the topics for the most part, are about things many of us already  know about and in many cases, are common sense.   That being said, reminders are an important component of our thought process, because in the hustle and bustle of life we tend to forget sometimes the importance of our character, our strengths, our knowledge, our passions and our desires.

 

Has writing Positive Perspective been worth the time and effort?  Absolutely! 

 

As I move into my second year of the blog, it is my goal to continue to write about everything relevant to those of us who are in pursuit of making ourselves better people and surrounding our world with positive thoughts.

 

Thanks for connecting to and  reading Positive Perspective!   As a reminder I am always looking for relevant topics to write about so send me an email if you have any thoughts or ideas you would like to see in future articles.

What have you done for YOU lately?

 

 

 

In life, many of us spend our days assisting others.  Our days are filled with getting through the day expending our energies on our job, our kids, our spouse, our household chores, our parents,  our friends and the list goes on and on.......

 

But do we spend enough time on our self?

 

There are so many diseases (both physical and mental)  that show up in our population due to stress, unhappiness and low self esteem that creates a very strong argument to work into our daily lives specific things we do for...guess who?

 

Our self!

 

It's proven that if we do things that make us feel good-- laughing, pampering, exercising and other things we garner enjoyment from (gardening, reading a good book,a mid-day nap, a hot soaking bath, enjoying a good wine, concerts,  the beach)  it's actually healthy for our well being. 

 

 

The body and mind react.....

 

Sense of self and confidence rises, blood pressure drops, the mind is cleansed and more alert, there is an euphoric feeling, a feeling of peace with our self and the burdens we all carry in our path through this life.  Above all, there is balance and serenity.

 

 

We all have limited time on our journey, so we need to make every minute count.  There is something to be said about creating a bucket list at any age.   Tomorrow is not guaranteed, so make your list today  and start planning for setting aside blocks of time...minutes, hours, days or weeks....to start doing those things that are specifically designed to take you to your special place, an unknown land, a better body, a fear conquered, pampering realized.......to give you those moments you absolutely deserve that define happiness and a life well lived! 

 

You owe it to yourself.

 

We all know the ending, but as I stated in an earlier post about our life's novel, it is up to us to create the chapters leading up to the epilogue.

 

 

 

Positive People

Positive People get Positive Results

Ever meet people that the first time you meet them just WOW you? 

 

I have.  They walk into a room, and everyone that meets them wants to "latch on"  to the power and energy that this person exudes, wanting to shake that person's hand in the hope that some of whatever it is that has blessed this individual will somehow be transferred to them during the handshake.

 

I know a person just like this...his name is Jack.  From the very first time I met Jack, his smile and demeanor were infectious.  I was very impressed, because I could tell is was not an act---it was genuine! 

 

Needless to say, several years later, Jack had gone from being a manager for a regional company to starting an incredibly successful business with multiple locations that ranks amongst the top in his industry in California.

 

I was not surprised.  Who would not want to have the opportunity to do business with a person like Jack?  He is sincere, friendly, has integrity, is extremely likeable and as honest as they come.  He is not afraid of hard work, is extremely smart and he gives back to his community, those less fortunate and his church unselfishly.

 

Jack understands and embraces the universal truism: You Give --- You Get!

 

 

Jack possesses excellent business acumen; he understands the bottom line, does not shy away from tough decisions and he knows the importance of consistently taking excellent care of his customers and his employees.  And by all accounts, he does all of the above quite well!

 

Why am I sharing this with you?

Because, my friends, there is a bit of Jack in each of us!  We just need to recognize our unique gifts, and use them to make a difference in our life and the lives of others.  That's what being positive and believing in yourself and your unique contribution is all about! 

 

You can't fake happiness, passion, integrity, sincerity or empathy...people see right through it.  That is why the persona of people like Jack is so powerful, like electricity...we just don't know many "Jacks" because they are truly a rare breed, so they stand out and therefore they are memorable to us.

 

 

Regardless of your background, education, age or sex, it's up to each of us to figure out how we can contribute to the service and needs of others, and to give them what they want  with a smile, passion and integrity.

 

Commit.

 

Commit to searching internally for what it is you can offer up to the world regarding talents and strengths, then commit to a plan to set into motion your chosen destiny.

 

Commit to being the optimist, with passion, energy, and an unfaltering desire to succeed... and above all, commit to believing in yourself and your dreams. 

 

 

 

Your reward will be not only be true happiness because of what you have become and accomplished,  but prosperity as well!

Healing the Past

"We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present." ~Marianne Williamson

 

 

 

Tragedy.....from the 14th century Greeks-- to Shakespeare -- to  the present, countless books, plays and movies have used it to tell a tragic story, perhaps in the hope the audience can understand and learn from it. 

 

Unfortunately tragedies happen in real life, and we have all had our share if we have been on this earth long enough.

 

 

 

 

Many people carry some baggage from countless possible scenarios that  may have happened to us in our life...a ruined relationship, a death of a loved one, an abusive parent or partner, a traumatic experience such as an accident, a friendship betrayed...whatever it is, it is very hard sometimes to address the feelings and emotions that emanate internally from the experience.

 

I'll be the first to admit that sometimes is very hard to shake off whatever in our life caused the pain or trauma, and move on without our thoughts, actions or reactions chiming in on a regular basis in our present days over the experience. 

 

 

Reliving it over and over and over again......

 

Allowing it to steal our present, and future life moments. 

Allowing it to be a roadblock for peace and happiness in our life.

Allowing it to prevent us from seizing present and future opportunities. 

 

 

How do we deal with the issue of our past tragedies and trauma? 

 

We let go, that's how!

 

Difficult?          Yes

 

Necessary?        Definitely

 

The past can't hurt you anymore, not unless you let it.”

― Alan Moore, V for Vendetta

 

A few months ago I wrote a blog article  on forgiveness, and in that blog, I suggested that  one must truly forgive (but not forget) in order to release the internal anger and hurt that affects their present state of mind. 

 

 

 

The same applies here....we need to rid ourselves of all internal anger,  hurt,  mistrust,  grief, sadness and depressing thoughts...... and commit to living in the Present, because the Present will dictate our Future.  

 

 

Remember this---living in the past is a curse!  Once the past has been truly let go, expect to  feel better mentally and physically...... and I assure you --you will be much happier living in the present!

  

 

"Today expect something good to happen to you no matter what occurred yesterday. Realize the past no longer holds you captive. It can only continue to hurt you if you hold on to it. Let the past go. A simply abundant world awaits.”

― Sarah Breathnach

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How will your "Personal Novel" play out?

Let me ask you something.

 

If you could go back to determinate points in your life,  points defined by a decision you made, what would you do differently knowing now what you didn't know then?

 

Personally, I can think of many things I would do differently if given the chance. But the reality is none of us can go back to change whatever circumstances  brought us to this point in our life....we simply have the present and the future as to how our "Personal Novel"  plays out from here.

 

 

 

 “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

 

What will you do to fill the remaining pages of your Personal Novel until the epilogue?

 

Who will you do it with?

 

What decisions will you make from this moment forward that impact your health, your career, your financial security, your family and friends and your life experiences?

 

Where will you travel?

 

“The future depends on what you do today.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

 

 

You are the author of your own personal novel --no one else.

 

Day by day, chapter by chapter, your life will play out and your novel will be written.  Will it be filled with mundane and meaningless pages, our will it be filled with excitement, adventure, romance, love, travel and great memories?

 

It's up to you.

 

You control the chapters, and ultimately, the conclusion. 

 

 

External Solutions and Addiction

Before you can break out of prison, you must realize you are locked up.”  — Author Unknown

 

We all seek out happiness and harmony in our life.

Yet sometimes there is a void that we seek to fill.... something appears to be missing. 

 Instead of attempting to understand or comprehend  why we feel the way we do..... and look for answers and solutions within ourselves, some of us attempt to fill our voids in other ways.

External Ways.

"External Solutions" are those things we desire and latch on to because we believe we need them to make us feel better about ourselves and our life.   We believe that the activity or the material item will make us happier and fill the void we have.

Some people seek out activities that are gratifying,  invigorating, exciting and even dangerous in order to fill their void -- drugs,  alcohol, gambling, shopping, eating  and smoking are a few examples ........

Things that, for the moment, serve to bring us to a happier place and make us forget and feel better about our self.  Don't get me wrong--we all indulge in things we like on occasion, but a good rule of thumb is every thing in moderation, right?

Everything from food, alcohol, shopping, drugs,  sex, gambling,  cigarettes and other "not so healthy" activities are all examples of External Solutions that, if allowed to spiral out of control,  can harm us, both physically and mentally.

Consumer marketing feeds off of our perceived need for External Solutions.  The nicer car, the bigger house, the newest gadget are all External Solutions that we believe will make us happier (and it may work for a while) but the reality is that happiness is simply an internal state of mind. 

 

Our happiness depends on the habit of mind we cultivate. So practice happy thinking every day. Cultivate the merry heart, develop the happiness habit, and life will become a continual feast.  Norman Vincent Peale

 

 

Bad habits or addictions over time can affect the way we look, our finances, our relationships and our professional life.  Some people are able to deal with External Solution issues themselves, while others may need assistance to kick their bad habits or addiction. 

 

Either way, if you have a bad habit or an addiction, step one is to recognize that you have it---step two is to devise a plan to address it.  

 

Never forget ----true happiness comes from within ----and YOU are in control  of the vehicle!

 

We are who we are because of three things,

the choices we make,

the habits we keep and

the disciplines we have.   

Ricardo Housham

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to deal with Difficult People

Difficult people, unreasonable people, mean people.

 

We all know them -- they may be friends, family members, co-workers, customers or total strangers... It doesn't matter. We have the ongoing challenge of having to deal with them in our daily lives.

 

Since we have  deal with these types of people, then we have to learn and employ methods that will assist us in our dealings with these types of people.  So what can we do to make our interactions more bearable, less belittling and more productive?

 

Before I answer that question, I want to delve into just what happens to many of these individuals in their lives that makes them so bitter, cruel and in some cases, just plain mean, difficult and a pain to be around.

 

I have a theory--and that is these types of people are the way they are  because of  (I) narcissism and (2)past environment / past experiences.  In many cases these people appear outwardly tough, but in actuality many are fragile inside due to lack of confidence in themselves, mistrust in others and emotional trauma. 

 

If you have ever met a narcissist, you know its always about them...what they want, what they think is right, wrong, best, important, etc....they are not concerned about what it is you need or want, or the team, family, company needs or wants, they are concerned about what they need and want, and will not hesitate stepping on or around others to get it.  Many of these types of people are extremely intelligent, and that is why after a discussion with one of these people we sometimes  feel belittled, unimportant and upset, since personal attacks are one tool these people use to get what they want.

 

Regarding the past environment of these types of people, it would not be surprising to learn that they may have  been verbally abused at some point in their life by parents and family, classmates or coworkers.  Or,  it could be an entitlement thing, where they were waited on hand and foot growing up and were handed everything they wanted and as a result answer to no one....except themselves.  Or, it could be that their focus and standards are so high for themselves that they don't realize that everyone else is different than they are, so they come across as intimidating.

 

Regardless of the reason some people choose to be difficult or mean, many times the affront we see before us  is a carefully designed and calculated image these people want to project to others in order to protect them from future harm.  In a sense, their difficult personality is really their "force field" that keeps others from harming them.

 

So the big question is -- how do we deal with these types of people?

 

 

Listed below are five methods that may help in interacting with difficult people ---these methods are designed to enable us to manage our actions (and our responses) and to quell the frustration so common with these interactions.

 

1) Prepare yourself.  As I stated above, these types of people can be very smart, and you can bet they do their homework to back up their agenda --so do yours and approach communications with matter-of fact assurance, especially against these types.

 

2) Communications.  Use the subject in discussion, not first person.  For example instead of saying "You were supposed to have that report to me last week", say "The report was due last week".  See the difference?  It is not perceived as a personal attack by the recipient, although everyone involved knows who is responsible.

 

3) Be tough.  If someone has crossed a line with you, belittled you or made you look bad in front of others when they should have pulled you aside to discuss something one-on-one, confront them about it.  Let them know their behavior is unacceptable to you and that you do not appreciate it.   This does not always work, but most will think twice the next time...and at the very least they will secretly respect you for standing up to them.

 

4) Show empathy and understanding.  No-- I'm not joking...this is extremely hard to do, especially if you do not like the person, but many of these difficult personalities may have experience, ideas or knowledge that you lack.  So realize that if you can achieve a mindset not to take things they say or do personal, and as a result are able to tap into their knowledge or ideas,  your reward will be self-enrichment.

 

 

 

5) Avoidance.   Sometimes nothing works.... after trying everything you can think of, either just walk away or aim for total avoidance.

Remember to always Be Yourself --never, never,  E  V  E  R   go down to their level.  Employ patience and logic, humility, understanding and try not to accuse and  remember that it is up to each of us to assure that any interactions or communications we are involved in with anyone are reasonable and calm,  not emotionally-charged shouting matches. 

Please email me with any comments or suggestions regarding my blog - Gregg.mason.rm@gmail.com

 

Conquer Life's Challenges!

 

The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.

Moliere

 

Challenges in life...we all have them, and yet we deal with them in different ways..... some of us get wrapped around the axle, stressed out and not sure how to proceed with the obstacle or issue at hand,  while others seems to tackle obstacles and issues head on with focus and what seems to be an ease of effort.

 

Just what are those individuals doing when faced with challenges in their life that allow them to readily acknowledge, address and conquer obstacles when they arise? 

The answer is they act upon whatever obstacles arise with thoughtful review, planning and execution.  They make a conscious decision to proceed with their plan based upon their understanding of the issue and then...... they do it.

 

Regardless of age, experience or knowledge, there are things we can all do when faced with a challenge or obstacle that will allow us to gather resources, create a plan of attack and resolve it with more focus and ease.

 

1.  Acknowledge its Existence:  Write the issue or obstacle down, and acknowledge its existence. 

 

2.  Worst Case Scenario:  Write down what you believe will happen if you do not address the issue.  Will there be a loss to you that really matters in your life, such as loss of a job or promotion, loss of  integrity or respect, loss of a relationship, financial loss or loss of something physical, like a house or a car?  Or after reviewing the worst case, is it not a serious issue...a loss you either do not care about or you consider it minor enough not to respond == Remember the book series  "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff"?

 

3.  Create a Response Plan:  Write down what you think it will take to resolve the issue, and if there is more than one way, list all possible alternatives that you can think of (including doing nothing).

 

4.  Rely on Good Resources: Tap into resources you will need to address the issue (i.e. money, research,  people with knowledge).

 

5. Choose a Response and ACT:  Select the alternative that makes the most sense to you, aligns with your values and that you can execute given your particular set of circumstances.

 

6. Maintain Control of your Response Plan:  Review throughout the process to see whether your chosen response is working and adjust if needed.  Did the plan work?  Trust me -- not all will, but the failures will teach us and make us better --that's called experience.

  

“Challenges in life can either enrich you or poison you.

  You are the one who decides.”  

  Steve Maraboli

 

Simply put, it's all about us controlling the issue/obstacle versus allowing it to control us. 

 

Action is the key.... your ability in dealing with life's obstacles will improve and your reactions will be calmer if you tackle the challenges with understanding and a well devised response plan.

 

The Value of Family

 

 

About a month ago, I went to a family reunion for my mother's side of the family, held in a little lake town outside of Austin Texas.  We flew to Houston from Sacramento, drove to Austin, and I was excited with anticipation in getting to see aunts, uncles and cousins -  many of whom  I had not seen since childhood.

 

Why am I writing about this?  Because the trip was a reminder about why I am who I am....  a large determinant of who we are is where we came from our roots --and being around family again reminded me that my environment while growing up in many ways had an influence on who I am today.

 

The event was fun and somewhat emotional at the same time-- I really connected with several of our relatives-- Besides the typical hugs, stories, meeting the families, reminiscing, we also talked about and remembered our Grandfather, the common denominator to us all, and those family members no longer with us --including 2 of my mothers siblings and my younger brother, who passed away way too young from cancer. 

 

My biggest takeaways from the reunion, after being around my family after all these years were:

 

1).  Leave your ego and critical eye at the door....family is a "safe haven"-- around our relatives we all get to be our self, without having the need to promote how successful we are, what we have, what we do, etc....most family members accept you for who you are and love you unconditionally without the need to promote your life's successes.  Conversely, you don't get to choose your family, so try to accept all in your family circle for who they are without a critical eye. 

 

2).  Traits....we all have personalities and as well idiosyncrasies about us that we cannot explain. After the reunion we spent 4 days with my half-brother in Houston (same dad, different mom) and my wife was continually laughing about traits that he and I share even though (excepting a few years when we were very young) we never grew up together.

 

3) Commonality...our ancestors are the common ground that links us.  Having been born in Texas, and seeing that most of my relatives on both sides of my family still live there (and that most have never lived anywhere else) it is interesting to note that even without the influence after age 9 of growing up in Texas that I fit right in with the local culture -- with the exception of drink preferences...not a big fan of sweet tea - I prefer mine unsweetened, and they just do not know how to make a proper martini in Mexican restaurants in Houston!

 

4) Connect and stay connected....at the end of the reunion, we all promised to stay in touch and to schedule the next one, and visit each other when possible.  Facebook, Facetime, Skype and cell phones/texting make it easier than ever to stay in touch.  One thing we all discussed is how time seems to fly by so quickly, and that it is so easy to get caught up in life and lose contact with those in your family circle.

 

It's a sad thing that some people don't make the effort to reach out to their family, both immediate or extended, as often as they could or should.  Some relatives in my family are like that and I just don't understand why.....

 

Family is personal;  family is safety and security;  family is love; family is understanding and support. 

 

Who wouldn't want that in their life?

 

Also remember even though this article is based upon my recent encounter with blood relatives, that "family" is not always defined as a relative.

 

Commit to reach out to your "family" today, and regularly if you don't already.......could be a phone call, or an invite on Facebook or to a Bar-B-Que if they are local.... a single commitment to act will enrich your life!

Integrity - N E V E R compromise yours!

Integrity has no need of rules.”
― Albert Camus

 

Integrity takes a lifetime to build .........and a moment to lose.  

 

It is defined by Wikipedia as "the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness and moral character."

Integrity is one of those "key" core personal values I hold deep in my own heart and fiercely strive to protect whenever it seems threatened. We are all usually moving pretty fast both professionally and in our personal lives, and along our life path situations continuously pop up that test our moral character.  It could be that we are selling something, including ourselves,  or it could be that we are placed in a position of having to make a decision that will have an impact on the outcome of a situation that will affect us or others around us.   I believe integrity is something all people of strong character do not sacrifice for any one or any thing --for it defines who they are and what they stand for.   “There is no such thing as a minor lapse of integrity” ― Tom Peters So how does one gauge Integrity and Moral Character?  The salient points to ask yourself and to apply to others to determine personal levels of integrity are:   Consistent commitment to being trustworthy.   Consistent ability to accomplish what one commits to.   Consistently fair and honest with one's self and others.   Consistently takes responsibility for mistakes without trying to blame the situation on circumstances or on others.   Consistently assures decisions made are  "the right thing to do",  even though the outcome may not be enriching and may even be harmful.   Take a moment and ponder your family, friends, coworkers, employer.....do they meet the standards of integrity based upon the above questions? Does the level of integrity when applied to people you know affect your level of trust in that person?    Do others see those qualities in you?    “If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” ― J.K. Rowling,   It is very difficult and uncomfortable for someone who has integrity to associate regularly with someone who does not.  Nobody likes a dishonest person--you can't trust them and they are flaky.  They also tend to put us on guard because usually they possess narcissistic personalities and whatever they are telling us is usually designed to enhance themselves in one form or another.   “If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations   I've mentioned it before, but I belong to a group called Rotary International, who has 1.2 million members around the world.  Rotary does much good, like being very close to eradicating polio in our world, but the main reason I joined was that every Rotarian commits to live their life by the Four Way Test of the things we think, say and do.   Is it the TRUTH? Is it FAIR to all concerned? Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS? Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned? I absolutely love doing business with Rotarian's and becoming friends with them because of the above four reasons -- it's a no-brainer.     Remember this -- integrity is something all  people of strong character never sacrifice for any one or any thing --for it defines who they are and what they stand for.   We are all going to be dealt circumstances in our life that will test our character.  Don't ever give up your integrity in favor of an "easy out" or to achieve personal enrichment.... for the hefty price you will wind up paying is a loss within yourself that, once compromised, is very, very hard to regain.

Liked! view quote Share on Twitter Likes the quote "I believe in integrity. Dogs have it. Humans are sometimes lacking it."     always post: reviewsuser statuses     Please email me with any comments or suggestions regarding my blog. gregg.mason.rm@gmail.com

Self Sabotage - Nip it in the bud!

Sabotage is defined by Wikipedia, as "a deliberate action aimed at weakening another entity through subversion, obstruction, disruption or destruction. 

 

Synonyms are to weaken, subvert, undermine, damage, destroy, disrupt, cripple and disable.

 

 

Sabotage can be external or internal:

i. it could be a third party  trying to throw a wrench into a goal or aspiration of another; or

ii.  it can be self-inflicted (self sabotage)

 

I would like to examine self sabotage, and also explore with you what we can do to nip it in the bud when it shows up in our lives......

 

Self sabotage gets in the way and slows down the goals we have set for ourselves as individuals both personally and professionally. Self sabotage affects the outcome or progress of a goal, such as losing weight, excelling in our job, exercising or ridding ourselves of bad habits.

 

Many of us believe in our goals, and that our lives will be enriched if we achieve them. 

The riddle here is -  why do we allow ourselves to be sidetracked from the path we have chosen for our self?  I mean, if we take the time and effort to set the goal in the first place and know that the outcome will be a positive one, why in the world would we do something to negatively affect or sidetrack the outcome we desire?

 

The answer is because we are human...we have flaws...beyond that, the true culprit of self sabotage may surprise you.

 

It's the ego. 

 

There are volumes written about this interesting phenomenon, but in order to keep this blog reasonable, I'll just say that the ego is a very complex mechanism that exists in all of us.  It feeds off of the need for external love, recognition, praise and acceptance from others, and often ignores the realities of logical thinking and taking responsibility for our actions at any given moment. 

As a result, self sabotage is caused by our ego assuming the role of authority, causing us to make unwise decisions or actions based upon core emotional needs and core beliefs that may contain false or misleading information. 

 

Suffice it to say that the ego is tied to our  emotional needs that began in our childhood and its influence will persist in us until we mature, recognize it for what it is, and address its effect on us properly.

 

The ability to suppress our internal desires (that our ego informs us we need) requires frank assessment, maturity and ultimately the understanding that we need to not only recognize those moments or situations  when the ego asserts influence, but be able to react to what is happening and take back the control needed to assure  we remain on track with the desired goals and aspirations in our life.

Self-sabotage is driven by impulses for immediate gratification, and is tied to our ego.  In order to end self sabotage, one needs to assess and know their core beliefs and values and keep them at the forefront of their life at all times. 

Take control of your ego, and you take control of your life. 

It's that simple ......... and that complicated.

For more information on this topic  I have provided several links below:

web sites:

www.becomeselfaware.com

 

www.selfgrowth.com

 

Book: Eckhart Tolle - A New Earth: Awakening to your Life's purpose

 

Feel free to email me with suggested future topics for this blog, or comments relating to the blog itself. Feedback is always appreciated!

 gregg.mason.rm@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Erase Self-limiting Beliefs!

"It's not who you think you are that holds you back; it's who you think you're not." ~Unknown

 

Self limiting beliefs are an interesting phenomenon because they come from within each of us and have no basis in fact-- just how we perceive our self and our abilities......

What are they, and how do they affect our life? 

A self limiting belief is a thought that comes from within.  They are internal doubts that put into question one's ability; they are affirmations to self that tells someone that they aren't good enough, smart enough or that they don't deserve success or that they can't accomplish those very things that need to happen in their life to assure positive outcomes and achieved goals.

People that I have dubbed "Confident Believers" rarely have these beliefs, and tackle each new day with thoughts and actions that confirm a very strong belief in themselves and their capabilities, as well as the belief that they deserve everything they have, or eventually will have in their lives.

In past articles I have written about 3 topics that come into play in this article -self-fulfilling prophecy, fear and how decisions determine our destiny.  This article incorporates those three topics and illustrates how interconnected many of the beliefs and attitudes we harbor on a daily basis affects our life.

 

“Unless you know where you are going then you will not know how to get there.”
― Stephen Richards

 

Each of us, whether it is formalized or not has created our very own  "Personal Plan".  Some of us may have everything in our professional and personal life chronicled to the minute details of what we desire to achieve personally, and the steps we need to take to get there, and we pause every so often to look at our score card.....others have have an excellent sense of what they want, and rely on their keeping those objectives at "front of mind" to get there without the formality...still others wake up every day and have a weak personal plan, which is to do nothing or little with the god-given talents they possess....they let life happen to them without focusing on those very things that they need to plan for and accomplish that will change their circumstances in all areas of their life from health to wealth.

 

“To grow, you must be willing to let your present and future be totally unlike your past. Your history is not your destiny.” — Alan Cohen

Regarding change ..... in order to grow, we all must be willing to accept the fact that life is ever-evolving, and therefore we must be willing to modify our knowledge base and our behaviors to accommodate that evolution.  Change is very hard for some people because it can put them out of their comfort zone and many people are comfortable with the "way things are" and  fear the unknown. 

 

The elimination of those perceptions of our self in our mind that hinder us is the key to eliminating the negative self-talk that limits our success, freedom and happiness.  There are methods available via books, web sites, tutorials and articles that can be employed when one catches them self in a negative self talk moment--these methods are designed to assist in ridding us of these types of thoughts. One I found called the "Sedona Method".  At the end of the article I have provided a link to their official site. 

 

Ultimately,  the belief in self that we ARE worthy of success, we ARE capable, we ARE deserving sets into motion a whole new world of opportunity!  Once you believe, in your heart of hearts, that YOU deserve in life what the "Confident Believers" have, you will begin to plan, you will begin to make choices one decision at a time, that leads you down the path towards success  you have envisioned for yourself.  Failures are an important part of success--expect them and embrace their lesson ---- for without this mindset and understanding,  failures can be devastating on morale and self confidence.

 

Self esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.  Nathaniel Branden

Belief in yourself and making the decisions / taking the actions necessary to ultimately realize what it is you envision for yourself is a key element for enjoying more success and happiness in your life!

 

Link:           Sedona Method www.sedona.com

 

Please feel free to email me with your comments, stories, ideas or article or links to topics.

gregg.mason.rm@gmail.com

Enhance your Self Image and Self Esteem!

How do you perceive yourself?

 

It's a simple question, and I would bet  the trigger response elicited from many of you may be a quick, positive affirmation.

 

However,  sometimes the answer is not so simple....many of us are hyper-conscious of our outward appearance both physically and mentally, and to others we may appear friendly, outgoing, successful, helpful, confident and happy with ourselves and our life.  We tend to promote and accentuate our positive attributes when we are around others, especially in a social or business setting. 

 

What I am delving into here is the way we perceive our self......our true perception as to who, who really is that person that stands before us when we look deep into our eyes, our hearts and our souls in a mirror when no one is around.

What do you see?    Do  you see good and positive  things in yourself.....things like confidence, optimism, a positive outlook towards life,  a person that respects others and their beliefs,  a person that is well-rounded, friendly, happy with themselves and their place in life and a person that's is forgiving and appreciative of others and of the things around them?

 

Or do you see someone who may not fully believe in them self or their capabilities?  Are there bad and negative things in the reflection-- regret, disappointment, anger, jealously, vindictiveness, addiction, resistance, ineffectiveness, sadness or low esteem?

There may be things about you - your physical appearance, your habits, your job performance, your wealth, your relationships, your attitudes, your fears or your emotions that you want to improve upon.  I certainly know with myself there always is!  

 

Inwardly, are you too hard on yourself for not being the person you want to be and know you can be? Are you resistance to the changes that must happen within you to allow yourself to be that person?

There are steps we can all take to improve our self-image and self-esteem. These things can, in turn, improve other aspects of our lives like success in our career, relationships, and our health.

 

Here are a few examples of things you can do to stay positive and enhance your self image:

 

1. Focus on the good in yourself and others.

2. Spend time on improving yourself - create a well developed personal plan and goals for personal growth.

3. Avoid being too critical of yourself and others.

4. Reward your good deeds and actions.

 

5. Help someone that needs you - there is no bigger boost to self image than knowing you unselfishly helped someone.

6. Look on the bright side; be an optimist. There are enough pessimists out there! 

7. Realize you are human and mistakes will be made.  When they happen, avoid negative "self talk" and being too hard on yourself and instead learn from them.

Regardless of whether you already like yourself and are looking for ways to further improve yourself , or need a bit more work than that, applying sensible and achievable methods to enhance the way you perceive yourself is indeed a worthy and rewarding undertaking. 

 

 

 

 

Not only will you be happier with yourself, others will be happier with you as well.....simply stated, enhancing your self image will improve your life and make you happier!

 

Balance your life through Feng Shui

How many of you have heard of Feng Shui? If so, have you ever read about or applied the methods of this ancient philosophy practice in your own life? People that practice this philosophy swear by it.......in today's world many interior design experts and Realtors apply it.... on a personal note,  my wife practices it in our home. 

 

Feng Shui means "Wind and Water" and has its roots in China over 3,000 years ago.  It is a philosophy that millions of people around the world apply to their daily lives.

 

Many people believe in the power of good energy flow, and how it travels through structures, is retained and affects the occupants living or working there. This is the basis for Feng Shui.....many well known celebrities practice Feng Shui, including Bill Gates, Donald Trump, Johnny Depp, Richard Branson, Madonna and Steven Spielberg to name a few.

 

There are so many parts and nuances to this philosophy that it would take a large book or two to describe it all.....for the purposes of keeping this blog length reasonable, I'll give you the basics - simply put, a home that has been Feng Shui'ed, has the following:

 

Good Aesthetics - A home that applies Feng Shui is uncluttered, clean, flows well and feels good.

Balanced elements - There are 5 elements (Wood, Metal, Fire, Water and Earth) that are recognized in the Feng Shui philosophy and their placement is very important in applying Feng Shui -.  Depending on the room type and the location of the room, these elements are applied to the home using a Bagua Chart.

Outer matches your Inner - The living or working environment outwardly reflects what  it is one feels inside.

Qui/Chi - This is good versus bad energy flowing throughout a house  that can affect activity occurring within a home.  There are methods in Feng Shui that slow down fast moving or piercing energy to make the home more relaxing, pleasing to the eye and enjoyable.  The key to Feng Shui is increasing Chi or good energy.

Bagua Chart- This chart divides up our homes into sectors.  Each sector has an affect on different areas of our lives.  Career, Spiritual, Knowledge, Children, Good Fortune, Health, Marriage, Reputation and Wealth.

 

 

 

Correctly applied, it is believed by those practicing Feng Shui that their lives are enriched in the following ways:

 

• Increased wealth

• Better Marriages and Relationships

• Better Health

• Better Reputation

• Increased Knowledge

• Increased Happiness

 

 

 

Other popular elements of Feng Shui include Foo Dogs (placed at entry to protect the home), introduction of plants to divert or slow down the flow of  energy, a number of ceremonial figures and symbols that are placed in key sectors throughout the home, Yin/Yang and "Space Clearing", which eliminates existing/lingering negative energy in the home from prior occupants or prior negative energy from an argument or harmful incident.  Feng Shui can also be applied to other areas where you live your life..... garden/yard  areas, patios and offices.

 

For more information on this very interesting topic:

Web Sites

Lilian Too - considered the top Feng Shui Master  in the world.    http://www.lillian-too.com/

Katie Weber - US Based(Texas)  - writes the Red Lotus Letter http://redlotusletter.com/

 

Books

The Feng Shui Bible (Simon Brown)

Feng Shui your Life (Jayme Barrett)

Feng Shui for Dummies

Control your Destiny

 

"What you are is what you have been. What you'll be is what you do now"

Buddha

 

The decisions and actions that we made in our past define who, what and where we are today.

Reflect for just a moment...what did you do... say... think.... and act upon (or didn't act upon)  in the past that in aggregate defines you and your life today? 

Defines your current job or career?

Defines your current status and net worth?

Defines your current relationships?

Defines your current health?

We all share something in common in life...wherever we are and whoever we are, regardless of our age, our career, our status, our wealth, guess what? 

 

We all have the same amount of time in our day! 

And we all have some "should of,  could of , would of" moments in our life.....I believe it is important that we embrace those moments to reflect and learn from those past decisions, good or bad,  and use them as tools to apply to our present and future decisions.

 

Today, I simply suggest you to take a moment to use what you have absolute control over - your mind - to focus on the consequences of your  decisions,  planning, and actions today...and how those 3 things will  affect your life tomorrow.

 

It's never to late to alter areas in our life need improving in order  to make where we are tomorrow better than today.  We all have dreams and aspirations aligned with what we deem important in life, and time keeps on ticking..... so I encourage you to create or update your personal plan and take action today toward those aspirations and goals that you have set for yourself. 

 

No one else can do it for you.    It's all you.

 

 

Buddha was right...the "Current You" today is made up of your cumulative "yesterdays".

 Consistently applied, the "Future You" will be defined by the planning,  decisions and commitments you make today..... and every day hereafter.

Remember this... nobody can change the past chapters of their life, but starting right now we each have a unique and fantastic opportunity to change the rest of our personal and professional story! 

Fortune Cookies and the wisdom they contain

Today I decided I would blog about something fun....

Whenever I eat Chinese Food, I get a fortune cookie....I have been saving the fortunes I like for about 20 years, and once in a while I pull them out of my wallet and read them.

 

Thought I would share with you the history of the fortune cookie, and my favorite fortune's that I have accumulated over the years.

 

Fact No. 1:          

 

The fortune cookie did not originate in China - it was created here in the  good  'ol  USA!  There are several theories about exactly who created the cookie, but the common thread is all of the tales originate in San Francisco and occur in the period between the late 1800's and early 1900's.  The stories range from inserting thank you notes inside hard biscuits, to a hard flat cookie containing biblical references.

 

Ultimately, the cookie design, a flat piece of dough folded to secure the message prevailed and contained strips of paper inscribed with Chinese wisdom.

 

Fact No. 2:

 

The fortune cookie idea probably came from Chinese origin.  In China during the 13th and 14th centuries,China was occupied by the Mongols.   The Chinese people, desirous of a revolution to free themselves, hid messages inside moon cakes of the coming revolution date and handed these cakes out to revolutionaries in occupied cities.  These cakes were made out of Lotus nut paste, which the Mongols did not like.  The subsequent successful revolution formed the basis for the Ming Dynasty.   and the Chinese to this day celebrate the Moon Festival.  This celebration is associated with the largest full moon of the year and the fall harvest (much like Thanksgiving in America);  this moon cake tale adds an additional dimension and special meaning to this Chinese holiday for those who celebrate it.

 

Fact No. 3

 

Fortune cookies became standard fare in Chinese Restaurants in the 1940's.

 Enough trivia--  here are my absolute favorite fortunes that I have received over the years:

• "Admire those that succeed, and learn from their success"

• "Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation"

• "People may doubt what you say but they will believe what you do"

• "You will continue to take chances and be glad you did"

• "A partnership shall prove successful for you"

• "You are extremely generous and are always thinking of others"

• "You will do better in Real Estate than in stocks"

• "Today is a lucky day for those who remain cheerful and optimistic"

• "Opportunity knocks on your door every day.  Answer it."

• "Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed"

• "You will make a change for the better"

• "If a true sense of value is to be yours, it must come through service"

• "Let your reach exceed your grasp"

• "You will make a fortune with your friend"

 

By the way, I rarely eat the cookie.  I like the prize much better!

 

Have a great week!