Sunday, January 27, 2013

Forgiveness- Eliminate resentment and anger from your life!

In life, bad and rotten things happen to all of us (or by extension, our family or friends) at one time or another, and we may to this very day harbor bad thoughts or feelings for others that may have harmed us or those we love.

It could be one of a million things -  a loan not repaid, a trust betrayed, a theft,  a lie, a physical fight, feelings that were damaged -- or worse.  As a natural response, we hold a grudge for the perpetrators, vowing never to forgive them for what they did. We are angry, sad, and want justice or retribution!

All of these ill feelings remain in our conscious and subconscious minds, weighing us down with anger and unhappiness....I think you will agree it is not a good place to be. 

I am suggesting that we simply clear out those angry and unhappy thoughts ....let them go.... remove them.... but not lose the lesson learned from them.  Forgiving does not mean forgetting; there is a clear difference, and we should all learn from every circumstance- good and bad - in our lives and apply our knowledge accordingly.


“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”

Thomas Stephen Szasz

There are real life consequences for having to carry a bagful of memories that weigh down on our our happiness, and our health....the burden of not being able to forgive makes one cautious, withdrawn and I stated above, it's a sad place to be. It can have an impact on relationships, work, family and a host of other things....Instead, commit to releasing the burden and the weight of those bad/sad/damaging thoughts; clear your mind, clear your heart by forgiving those things in the past that damaged you.

“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you are.”

Cherie Carter-Scott

Maybe there are some things have happened in your life that are just, in your mind,  unforgivable.  Just not worth giving up the burden that you must carry on a daily basis because the situation is just too grave.  If that is the case, remember this -- none of us can change the past.  We can however, shape today and our future starting right now by forgiving those people, really forgiving them in our heart, releasing the burden, lifting the weight and clearing our minds and bodies of the past ---clear your list today for a better tomorrow!

P.S.  Don't forget to forgive yourself for all of the above reasons!!

Please email me with your comments, stories, ideas or article or links to topics.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Motivation - We all need a daily dose!

“You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.”

Henry Ford

Motivation is a word used quite a bit when it comes to personal and professional development.  From, losing weight, exercising more or quitting smoking on the personal side of our life.... to closing a sale, going for the promotion or creating that new product or service or company on the professional side of our life, there is something inside all of us that gets us up in the morning, and readies us up for our days activities, whatever they may be.

Of course those days turn into weeks, months and years...ultimately leading us down the path we have selected in our lives. 

So, given the same level of needs or desires among different individuals, why are some more effective at achieving their goals in life than others? 

Before we explore the answer, let's look at the definition of"Motivation".

Motivation is defined as "the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal, and elicits, controls and sustains certain goal-directed behaviors. It can be a driving force that compels or reinforces an action toward a desired goal, with roots in behavioral, cognitive and social areas".  (Source: Wikipedia)

Simply put -  If you have a need or a want, you take action to get or achieve it.

"Action" is the key difference between those that do and those that want to do but don't commit to the "action" part of the equation.  I'm referring to "Thinkers" or "Wanters" versus "Doers" or "Executors" can be a thinker-- we all have to do that part-- however if a thought has no action behind it, it's just a thought.

Add "action" to the equation, and things start happening.  We all have heard the term," every action creates a reaction" and that is so true in everything we do in life.

We exercise and the result is we initially become sore but ultimately our body starts reacting by firming up, we get more energy, we get stronger, feel better about ourselves, etc....

We close the sale, we get rewarded monetarily, get recognized, and confirm to our self and others that we have what it takes to consistently contribute to the revenue of our company......

We commit to invest, we start receiving income from our investments, which augments our salary and assists us financially throughout our working lives and retirement......

It's a cause and effect scenario.  It's really that simple.

Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis.”

Zig Ziglar,

Have you ever tried to motivate others?  I'm sure you know it is darn near impossible.. why is that?

 It's because all we can do as bosses, parents, friends and authority figures in someone else's life is give them the tools to motivate them...offer the bonus when a sale occurs, time off once a project is completed, a treat when homework is done....but human nature is that we are all self-motivated individuals.  WE have to want or need something in order to create that mindset that we are willing to put forth our own personal plan (thought and action) to achieve it.  Otherwise guess doesn't happen.  It's just a dream, just another idea with no effort behind it.  I truly believe in life we all mean to do it, but something comes up, we don't get around to it, we are tired, drained, stressed, too busy, etc.......that mindset my friends is exactly what separates the doers and the successful from the dreamers and the slackers.

Nobody can do that for us, how can we expect to do it for others?  There is an old saying "you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink it".  It rings true with individuals as well.

Are you hungry?

Are you thirsty?

Is it a fire that burns you up inside?

How bad do you want it?

How bad do you need it?

Are you eating, sleeping, dreaming

With that one thing on your mind?

How bad do you want it?

How bad do you need it?

Cause if you want it all

You've got to lay it all out on the line”

Tim McGraw, Tim McGraw: Like You Were Dying

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Being true to yourself


Judy Garland

We arrive into this world as unique individuals born with different talents, different beliefs and different looks and personalities, yet throughout our lives we are exposed to external societal, religious, social, entertainment and family-based influences that may not be aligned with our core fundamentals and beliefs.

As a result,  some people wind up being in the precarious situation (and realization) that the person who others perceive them to be really just isn't them at all, which is sad....

The questions we should ask ourselves are:

Is it more important to us regarding how others perceive us or is it more important as to how we perceive ourselves?

Does one (perception) affect the other? 

Is not being true to ourselves worth the sacrifice in favor of a misguided perception of us by others? 

Being true to yourself means to act in accordance with who you are and what you believe,  not aligning your looks, your thoughts your core fundamentals or your beliefs with others to fit a certain perception of who you are or should be (credit :essential life skills . net).

How it happens

Think about the external influences in your life growing up and as an adult....weren't there influences and some pressure to get good grades, dress a certain way, act and look a certain way, etc....same with school age friends.... and as teenagers many of us had the social desire to "fit in" with a group we wanted to be a part of for whatever reason.  Did we sometimes sacrifice our persona to appear to be somebody we weren't? 

                                                     Do we still?

What do our clothes, our weight, our hair, our kids and our lifestyle say to others about us?  Where did we get those desires to be a certain way, and.... does what we think we want to be really align with who we  are as individuals?    To some of us, others of us maybe not! 

The key to being true to yourself is to respect and love who YOU ARE, not be the type of person that willingly fits into a mold of what others want them to be.

Be true to yourself.  Sounds simple enough, doesn't it?  In reality,many times it is not...however, once you decide in your heart of hearts that absolutely NOTHING is worth sacrificing your unique, individual self for - guess what?

It becomes so.

"You were born an original.  Don't die a copy"

John Mason

Friday, January 11, 2013

The Art of Perseverance

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success before they gave up"

Thomas A. Edison



                                            .....the ability to be vigilant in seeing things through, hanging in there, being committed to your end goal, and working through obstacles or discouragement is a valuable tool when applied to your life. 

In an earlier blog I wrote about decisions in our life.  In this entry, I am writing about a dogged commitment to an action, end result or goal once you've made that decision.

I believe that in life we all are presented our education, our careers and our personal relationships. I also believe that those that seize those opportunities, and see them through, are the most successful, the most confident, the most content and the happiest in life. 

Accomplishments are a wonderful thing for our persona...they give us power, energy and the confidence that we can do more!

But accomplishments have a price -- there is an opportunity cost in everything we do, whether it be our time, our money or our relationships and the key is to focus our energies on those things we deem important and add value to our life. Our life today is the aggregate result of the successes and defeats we have experienced along our chosen path, both personally and professionally.

I'm not going to sugarcoat this topic -- at times it will be very tough for some of you on your journey....whatever your goal, there will be roadblocks, setbacks, frustration, sabotage and possibly those around you that (for whatever reason) believe you can't accomplish what you have set out to tackle and are destined to fail. 


This my friends, is what perseverance is all about.....proving to yourself and to others, that you CAN do it! 

"Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence- is the key to unlocking our potential"

Winston Churchill

Is it ever to late?  No - there's always tomorrow.  However, if you start today, tomorrow will be the SECOND day that you will have been working toward whatever it is you hope to accomplish. 

Once you start something, be committed to finish it.  Work through the obstacles and persevere!!



"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat"

F. Scott Fitzgerald


Please feel free to email me with your comments, stories, ideas or article or links to topics.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Personal Magnetism AKA Personal Power

"Charm is the quality in others that makes us more satisfied with ourselves"

Henri Frederic Amiel

I have always been impressed and admired people I know and people that  I meet who have a certain aura about them that causes others to take notice, listen, admire and respond to that person.  Those people have what I refer to as "a magnetic personality". 

What exactly is personal magnetism?

Personal magnetism is defined as "a personal attractiveness or interestingness that enables you to influence others".

Have you noticed that there are those in your circle of friends and acquaintances at school, at work and at play that others follow and want to be around, all the while intently listening to every word that comes out of their mouths?  I refer to these types of people as  "influencers/ leaders", and for whatever reason,  they have amazing command over their friends, their teachers, their co-workers, their clients and their audience.

They exude what I call  "Personal Power". 

In our day to day lives we are exposed to these types of people...I happen to believe personal magnetism is a synonym for charm or charisma, and that the Law of Attraction is somehow involved.

Personal power sources may be physical beauty, intelligence, talent, poise, confidence,  self-discipline, wisdom, wealth or a combination of some or all of these...what I am referring to is part of someones seems that it is a natural trait that isn't faked and is ingrained in personality and character.

So who are these people with personal magnetism?

Actors, authors, singers, lawyers, doctors, business owners, sports professionals, salespeople, real estate moguls, teachers, Fortune 500 CEO's and politicians are the most obvious.....but these people can also be housewives, students and middle managers... ..the reality is that these types of people are usually admired by others regardless of what they do for a living!.

You might be magnetism natural (you either are born with it or you aren't)  or can it be learned? 

It's actually both--I believe most of us have  the propensity for personal magnetism but it may need to be either developed or refined (in other words,  self improvement is involved).  My observation is that those people that possess this asset practice using it and improving upon it on a regular basis, are self disciplined, confident in their abilities, well groomed, strive for constant improvement in themselves and their appearance, have high expectations of themselves and others, and are poised, polished and consistent in their appearance, approach, beliefs and actions.

Personal magnetism is real and is influential in our day to day lives, and if used properly, can assist you in getting what you want in life.   There are those of us that may not have been born with all of  the attributes that I've described above, or have not committed the time developing and strengthening their personal magnetism.

While not  everyone desires this trait, if you are interested in developing or strengthening your personal  magnetism, I encourage you to check online resources  (search under "personal magnetism" or "personal power"),  or check out the CD Mastery Program by Tony Robbins entitled "Personal Power" or "Personal Power II".

Please feel free to email me with your comments, stories, ideas or article or links to topics.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Decisions determine our Destiny

There is a saying, "If you do what you've done, you'll get what you got" other words, habits and mindsets need to change to create different results in our lives, or where we are at tomorrow will be where we were yesterday

It's a new year, and many of us are making resolutions to make ourselves and our lives better in 2013 and beyond.


I can think of no better resolution in the New Year than to make a commitment to ourselves to take responsibility for 4 things in our lives:

1) Health (Physical and Spiritual)
2) Financial Well Being
3) Success in our careers
4) Strengthening Family/Friends Relationships

Try to commit to these 4 things  from this day forward.  No more blaming, no more excuses- just your decision to commit to yourself that whatever comes your way, whatever happens, it's up to you to resolve it and you will hereafter take full responsibility for the decisions you make and the consequences that follow.

Or...... you can live with everything as it has been (and will remain to be) by doing nothing about it.

Sounds like a lot, I know, but the day you start doing those 4 things is the day you start a progression in your life path that will take you to the place you want to be!

                        "Not to decide is to decide"

When you think about it and break it down, where we are today as individuals is not only a culmination of life experiences, it's also a culmination of decisions....decisions to work/ not work, decisions to take the job we are in,  to apply for that promotion or start that business, decisions regarding our job performance, our education, whether to spend money, incur debt, save,  to rent or own our house, where to live,  how long we keep our cars, to travel, get my gist... 

Ponder this...would you agree that for every action there are consequences, both good and bad? Since we are the most intelligent animals on earth, you would think that once we make a bad decision we learn from it and never repeat it,  right?  Not necessarily........

It is expected in society that as adults we will be responsible in our decision making --we all make our bed so we sleep in it, right?  I think you'll agree - in day to day life it's easier said than done!  The reason?  In a nutshell, I attribute repeating our bad decisions to not thinking the consequences of our actions through (well enough) to make a better or at least different decision.

So how do es one set everything up so that life goes their way and changes occur?

 I believe it is in each decision we make.  ....and we make dozens to hundreds of decisions daily  regarding our job, our finances , our family, our relationships, our food, our driving,, for every decision, it either winds up as either a bad decision or a good decision. And these decisions cumulatively determine our health,our appearance,  our wealth, our careers, our relationships and ultimately, our happiness.

It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.

Roy E. Disney

Sam Walton, the founder of Walmart was interviewed by a student for a school project, and when the student asked Sam why he was so successful, he replied " I made good decisions"....puzzled and a bit frustrated by the short response, the student probed a bit did you make such good decisions?   Sam Walton replied " I learned from my bad decisions".  Not a very long interview, but the lesson was invaluable!  Experience taught him how to make good decisions!

 Folks, we all learn from experience.  Apply yours, commit to yourself starting right now regarding your future decisions in the 4 areas mentioned earlier, take full responsibility for them and wake up to a better tomorrow!

Please feel free to email me with your comments, stories, ideas or article or links to topics.