Eliminate Worry to Increase Happiness in your Life!

“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Worry is thinking about future things that could go wrong in our lives.

I am guilty---I catch myself all the time worrying about things I have no control over, and more importantly, things that probably will never happen.

Why is this?  What is it in our psyche that causes us to needlessly worry about family, work, friends, finances, health, events or other circumstances in our lives?

As best as I can ascertain, people that worry do so  because they have a mindset that on occasion focuses on the negative...they focus on the things they don't want to happen versus focusing on the things they do want to happen.

By extension -- do those negative thoughts encourage those very things we worry about to actually manifest and happen in our lives?

 

Worry versus Concern

 

I want to make one quick distinction...is what you are thinking about a worry or a concern?  They are two very different things...concern is the more logical of the two...it is first and foremost a thought not an emotion, and requires real  knowledge of a situation, an understanding there may be a problem, and a analytical process to back it up.  Concern is followed by action or a thought-out solution to the issue.....worrying on the other hand is an emotion and has none of those elements.

Concerns are a natural part of our lives, and are valid and beneficial ...Worry is abstract and baseless and is invalid and harmful to us and those around us.

See the difference?  read on.....

 “Whatever is going to happen will happen, whether we worry or not.”
― Ana Monnar

Effects of Over-Worrying

Much like other emotions like fear, over-worrying can damage us both mentally and physically and is a big culprit in reducing our quality of life, optimism and happiness.

 

According to WebMD, worry affects sleep habits, can cause eating disorders, contributes to anxiety, stress and panic attacks and contributes to bad health habits such as overeating, smoking and the use of drugs and alcohol as external solutions to try to deal with the emotion. 

 

Worrying can also have a huge effect on relationships, self confidence and job performance.

How to change your mindset to eliminate worry

1. Live in the present and if you are thinking beyond today, apply logic to your thought process, set goals and have a well-designed plan for your future.

2. Deal with issues or problems as they surface, with action or effort, not worry or inaction.

3. If you catch yourself worrying mindlessly about future events, stop yourself by thinking or doing something in the present.

4. Ignore or discount the trivial things that do not matter to you or your life.

5. Write down those things that worry you, and objectively think them through, one by one.  By doing so, you disable the control those things have over you.

 

How would your life be different if…You stopped worrying about things you can’t control and started focusing on the things you can? Let today be the day…You free yourself from fruitless worry, seize the day and take effective action on things you can change.”

― Steve Maraboli

 

Overcoming Fear

Do not let your fears choose your destiny. ~ Unknown

Fear is a fact of life for most of us...whether we fear things like snakes, spiders, sharks, heights, airplanes, clowns....... or things more abstract like failure, change, social environments,  public speaking or certain situations,  fear can be overcome to enhance our lives and make us more successful at work, at home and at play.

This article focuses on the fear that causes inaction, sets up failure and limits our belief in our self and what we believe we can accomplish in life.

What is fear, and what causes it?

Fear is defined as "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc..whether the threat is real or imagined." Synonyms include apprehension, dismay, dread, terror, fright and panic. (source Dictionary.com).  Basically, fear is a phobia.

Read the definition again...the part that sticks out to me is "real or imagined"  especially "imagined"....why is that?  Because many of our fears are just that...imagined! 

That being said, the reality is that the fear emotion (regardless if the cause is real or imagined) in our day to day lives is very real to those experiencing it, and as a result, our bodies react to it ...fear can trigger panic, anxiety, a desire to run away from it to avoid it.  Physically, fear can trigger a higher heart rate, sweating, and high adrenaline levels (Source: about.com).

So how does one determine whether the fear they are experiencing is real or imagined? How does one's reaction to the impending threat affect their decision making abilities and more importantly, how does someone turn this extremely strong emotion into an asset versus a liability?

To use fear as the friend it is, we must retrain and reprogram ourselves. We must persistently and convincingly tell ourselves that the fear is here–with its gift of energy and heightened awareness –so we can do our best and learn the most in the new situation.

Peter Williams

Fear limits our possibilities and opportunities in life because we want to stay in a "safe place"-- stay within our known surroundings where we are most comfortable and where no harm can come to us.

As a result, we may not take the risks associated with improving our lives, whether the fear relates to our recreation,our relationships or our careers.  Commiting to taking risks to do things that we are not comfortable doing shows courage,builds confidence,  makes us more productive, and expands our abilities and horizons in life.

"If you never ask, the answer is always "No"

Tackling fear and venturing into the unknown puts us in a heightened state of awareness and creates excitement.   When we do something that we initially had feared, there is substantial satisfaction because although initially we feared it, we decided the fear was not going to limit us, and we did whatever it was we were afraid of.......and survived it!   Not to say mistakes weren't made along the way, but the mistakes we make along the way teach us --they are definitely worth the experience!

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. ~Dale Carnegie

In order to grow we have to try new things--doing what we fear is exhilarating, builds courage, heightens our awareness and exposes us to new people, situations and experiences that otherwise we would never experience.

Don't limit what your can be by bowing to your fears.  Conquering our fears in life allows us to grow beyond what we ever imagined! 

 

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. ~ E Hubbard

Forgiveness- Eliminate resentment and anger from your life!

In life, bad and rotten things happen to all of us (or by extension, our family or friends) at one time or another, and we may to this very day harbor bad thoughts or feelings for others that may have harmed us or those we love.

It could be one of a million things -  a loan not repaid, a trust betrayed, a theft,  a lie, a physical fight, feelings that were damaged -- or worse.  As a natural response, we hold a grudge for the perpetrators, vowing never to forgive them for what they did. We are angry, sad, and want justice or retribution!

All of these ill feelings remain in our conscious and subconscious minds, weighing us down with anger and unhappiness....I think you will agree it is not a good place to be. 

I am suggesting that we simply clear out those angry and unhappy thoughts ....let them go.... remove them.... but not lose the lesson learned from them.  Forgiving does not mean forgetting; there is a clear difference, and we should all learn from every circumstance- good and bad - in our lives and apply our knowledge accordingly.

 

“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”

― Thomas Stephen Szasz

There are real life consequences for having to carry a bagful of memories that weigh down on our our happiness, and our health....the burden of not being able to forgive makes one cautious, withdrawn and unhappy...as I stated above, it's a sad place to be. It can have an impact on relationships, work, family and a host of other things....Instead, commit to releasing the burden and the weight of those bad/sad/damaging thoughts; clear your mind, clear your heart by forgiving those things in the past that damaged you.

“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you are.”

― Cherie Carter-Scott


Maybe there are some things have happened in your life that are just, in your mind,  unforgivable.  Just not worth giving up the burden that you must carry on a daily basis because the situation is just too grave.  If that is the case, remember this -- none of us can change the past.  We can however, shape today and our future starting right now by forgiving those people, really forgiving them in our heart, releasing the burden, lifting the weight and clearing our minds and bodies of the past ---clear your list today for a better tomorrow!


P.S.  Don't forget to forgive yourself for all of the above reasons!!

Please email me with your comments, stories, ideas or article or links to topics.

gregg.mason.rm@gmail.com

Motivation - We all need a daily dose!

“You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.”

― Henry Ford

Motivation is a word used quite a bit when it comes to personal and professional development.  From, losing weight, exercising more or quitting smoking on the personal side of our life.... to closing a sale, going for the promotion or creating that new product or service or company on the professional side of our life, there is something inside all of us that gets us up in the morning, and readies us up for our days activities, whatever they may be.

Of course those days turn into weeks, months and years...ultimately leading us down the path we have selected in our lives. 

So, given the same level of needs or desires among different individuals, why are some more effective at achieving their goals in life than others? 

Before we explore the answer, let's look at the definition of"Motivation".

Motivation is defined as "the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal, and elicits, controls and sustains certain goal-directed behaviors. It can be a driving force that compels or reinforces an action toward a desired goal, with roots in behavioral, cognitive and social areas".  (Source: Wikipedia)

Simply put -  If you have a need or a want, you take action to get or achieve it.

"Action" is the key difference between those that do and those that want to do but don't commit to the "action" part of the equation.  I'm referring to "Thinkers" or "Wanters" versus "Doers" or "Executors"....one can be a thinker-- we all have to do that part-- however if a thought has no action behind it, it's just a thought.

Add "action" to the equation, and things start happening.  We all have heard the term," every action creates a reaction" and that is so true in everything we do in life.

We exercise and the result is we initially become sore but ultimately our body starts reacting by firming up, we get more energy, we get stronger, feel better about ourselves, etc....

We close the sale, we get rewarded monetarily, get recognized, and confirm to our self and others that we have what it takes to consistently contribute to the revenue of our company......

We commit to invest, we start receiving income from our investments, which augments our salary and assists us financially throughout our working lives and retirement......

It's a cause and effect scenario.  It's really that simple.

Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis.”

― Zig Ziglar,

Have you ever tried to motivate others?  I'm sure you know it is darn near impossible.. why is that?

 It's because all we can do as bosses, parents, friends and authority figures in someone else's life is give them the tools to motivate them...offer the bonus when a sale occurs, time off once a project is completed, a treat when homework is done....but human nature is that we are all self-motivated individuals.  WE have to want or need something in order to create that mindset that we are willing to put forth our own personal plan (thought and action) to achieve it.  Otherwise guess what....it doesn't happen.  It's just a dream, just another idea with no effort behind it.  I truly believe in life we all mean to do it, but something comes up, we don't get around to it, we are tired, drained, stressed, too busy, etc.......that mindset my friends is exactly what separates the doers and the successful from the dreamers and the slackers.

Nobody can do that for us, how can we expect to do it for others?  There is an old saying "you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink it".  It rings true with individuals as well.

Are you hungry?

Are you thirsty?

Is it a fire that burns you up inside?

How bad do you want it?

How bad do you need it?

Are you eating, sleeping, dreaming

With that one thing on your mind?

How bad do you want it?

How bad do you need it?

Cause if you want it all

You've got to lay it all out on the line”

― Tim McGraw, Tim McGraw: Like You Were Dying

Being true to yourself

"ALWAYS BE A FIRST-RATE VERSION OF YOURSELF, INSTEAD OF A SECOND-RATE VERSION OF SOMEBODY ELSE"

Judy Garland

We arrive into this world as unique individuals born with different talents, different beliefs and different looks and personalities, yet throughout our lives we are exposed to external societal, religious, social, entertainment and family-based influences that may not be aligned with our core fundamentals and beliefs.

As a result,  some people wind up being in the precarious situation (and realization) that the person who others perceive them to be really just isn't them at all, which is sad....

The questions we should ask ourselves are:

Is it more important to us regarding how others perceive us or is it more important as to how we perceive ourselves?

Does one (perception) affect the other? 

Is not being true to ourselves worth the sacrifice in favor of a misguided perception of us by others? 

Being true to yourself means to act in accordance with who you are and what you believe,  not aligning your looks, your thoughts your core fundamentals or your beliefs with others to fit a certain perception of who you are or should be (credit :essential life skills . net).

How it happens

Think about the external influences in your life growing up and as an adult....weren't there influences and some pressure to get good grades, dress a certain way, act and look a certain way, etc....same with school age friends.... and as teenagers many of us had the social desire to "fit in" with a group we wanted to be a part of for whatever reason.  Did we sometimes sacrifice our persona to appear to be somebody we weren't? 

                                                     Do we still?

What do our clothes, our weight, our hair, our kids and our lifestyle say to others about us?  Where did we get those desires to be a certain way, and.... does what we think we want to be really align with who we  are as individuals?    To some of us, possibly...to others of us maybe not! 

The key to being true to yourself is to respect and love who YOU ARE, not be the type of person that willingly fits into a mold of what others want them to be.

Be true to yourself.  Sounds simple enough, doesn't it?  In reality,many times it is not...however, once you decide in your heart of hearts that absolutely NOTHING is worth sacrificing your unique, individual self for - guess what?

It becomes so.

"You were born an original.  Don't die a copy"

John Mason

The Art of Perseverance

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success before they gave up"

Thomas A. Edison

Perseverance.....

                  Persistence.....

                                            .....the ability to be vigilant in seeing things through, hanging in there, being committed to your end goal, and working through obstacles or discouragement is a valuable tool when applied to your life. 

In an earlier blog I wrote about decisions in our life.  In this entry, I am writing about a dogged commitment to an action, end result or goal once you've made that decision.

I believe that in life we all are presented opportunities....in our education, our careers and our personal relationships. I also believe that those that seize those opportunities, and see them through, are the most successful, the most confident, the most content and the happiest in life. 

Accomplishments are a wonderful thing for our persona...they give us power, energy and the confidence that we can do more!

But accomplishments have a price -- there is an opportunity cost in everything we do, whether it be our time, our money or our relationships and the key is to focus our energies on those things we deem important and add value to our life. Our life today is the aggregate result of the successes and defeats we have experienced along our chosen path, both personally and professionally.

I'm not going to sugarcoat this topic -- at times it will be very tough for some of you on your journey....whatever your goal, there will be roadblocks, setbacks, frustration, sabotage and possibly those around you that (for whatever reason) believe you can't accomplish what you have set out to tackle and are destined to fail. 

 

This my friends, is what perseverance is all about.....proving to yourself and to others, that you CAN do it! 

"Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence- is the key to unlocking our potential"

Winston Churchill

Is it ever to late?  No - there's always tomorrow.  However, if you start today, tomorrow will be the SECOND day that you will have been working toward whatever it is you hope to accomplish. 

Once you start something, be committed to finish it.  Work through the obstacles and persevere!!

 

 

"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat"

F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

Please feel free to email me with your comments, stories, ideas or article or links to topics.

gregg.mason.rm@gmail.com

Personal Magnetism AKA Personal Power

"Charm is the quality in others that makes us more satisfied with ourselves"

Henri Frederic Amiel


I have always been impressed and admired people I know and people that  I meet who have a certain aura about them that causes others to take notice, listen, admire and respond to that person.  Those people have what I refer to as "a magnetic personality". 

What exactly is personal magnetism?


Personal magnetism is defined as "a personal attractiveness or interestingness that enables you to influence others".
source:TheFreeDictonary.com


Have you noticed that there are those in your circle of friends and acquaintances at school, at work and at play that others follow and want to be around, all the while intently listening to every word that comes out of their mouths?  I refer to these types of people as  "influencers/ leaders", and for whatever reason,  they have amazing command over their friends, their teachers, their co-workers, their clients and their audience.

They exude what I call  "Personal Power". 

In our day to day lives we are exposed to these types of people...I happen to believe personal magnetism is a synonym for charm or charisma, and that the Law of Attraction is somehow involved.

Personal power sources may be physical beauty, intelligence, talent, poise, confidence,  self-discipline, wisdom, wealth or a combination of some or all of these...what I am referring to is part of someones persona...it seems that it is a natural trait that isn't faked and is ingrained in personality and character.

So who are these people with personal magnetism?

Actors, authors, singers, lawyers, doctors, business owners, sports professionals, salespeople, real estate moguls, teachers, Fortune 500 CEO's and politicians are the most obvious.....but these people can also be housewives, students and middle managers... ..the reality is that these types of people are usually admired by others regardless of what they do for a living!.

You might be wondering....is magnetism natural (you either are born with it or you aren't)  or can it be learned? 

It's actually both--I believe most of us have  the propensity for personal magnetism but it may need to be either developed or refined (in other words,  self improvement is involved).  My observation is that those people that possess this asset practice using it and improving upon it on a regular basis, are self disciplined, confident in their abilities, well groomed, strive for constant improvement in themselves and their appearance, have high expectations of themselves and others, and are poised, polished and consistent in their appearance, approach, beliefs and actions.

Personal magnetism is real and is influential in our day to day lives, and if used properly, can assist you in getting what you want in life.   There are those of us that may not have been born with all of  the attributes that I've described above, or have not committed the time developing and strengthening their personal magnetism.

While not  everyone desires this trait, if you are interested in developing or strengthening your personal  magnetism, I encourage you to check online resources  (search under "personal magnetism" or "personal power"),  or check out the CD Mastery Program by Tony Robbins entitled "Personal Power" or "Personal Power II".

Please feel free to email me with your comments, stories, ideas or article or links to topics.

gregg.mason.rm@gmail.com

Decisions determine our Destiny

There is a saying, "If you do what you've done, you'll get what you got"....in other words, habits and mindsets need to change to create different results in our lives, or where we are at tomorrow will be where we were yesterday

It's a new year, and many of us are making resolutions to make ourselves and our lives better in 2013 and beyond.

.

I can think of no better resolution in the New Year than to make a commitment to ourselves to take responsibility for 4 things in our lives:

1) Health (Physical and Spiritual)
2) Financial Well Being
3) Success in our careers
4) Strengthening Family/Friends Relationships

Try to commit to these 4 things  from this day forward.  No more blaming, no more excuses- just your decision to commit to yourself that whatever comes your way, whatever happens, it's up to you to resolve it and you will hereafter take full responsibility for the decisions you make and the consequences that follow.

Or...... you can live with everything as it has been (and will remain to be) by doing nothing about it.

Sounds like a lot, I know, but the day you start doing those 4 things is the day you start a progression in your life path that will take you to the place you want to be!

                        "Not to decide is to decide"

When you think about it and break it down, where we are today as individuals is not only a culmination of life experiences, it's also a culmination of decisions....decisions to work/ not work, decisions to take the job we are in,  to apply for that promotion or start that business, decisions regarding our job performance, our education, whether to spend money, incur debt, save,  to rent or own our house, where to live,  how long we keep our cars, to travel,  .....you get my gist... 

Ponder this...would you agree that for every action there are consequences, both good and bad? Since we are the most intelligent animals on earth, you would think that once we make a bad decision we learn from it and never repeat it,  right?  Not necessarily........

It is expected in society that as adults we will be responsible in our decision making --we all make our bed so we sleep in it, right?  I think you'll agree - in day to day life it's easier said than done!  The reason?  In a nutshell, I attribute repeating our bad decisions to not thinking the consequences of our actions through (well enough) to make a better or at least different decision.



So how do es one set everything up so that life goes their way and changes occur?

 I believe it is in each decision we make.  ....and we make dozens to hundreds of decisions daily  regarding our job, our finances , our family, our relationships, our food, our driving,etc....so, for every decision, it either winds up as either a bad decision or a good decision. And these decisions cumulatively determine our health,our appearance,  our wealth, our careers, our relationships and ultimately, our happiness.

It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.

Roy E. Disney

Sam Walton, the founder of Walmart was interviewed by a student for a school project, and when the student asked Sam why he was so successful, he replied " I made good decisions"....puzzled and a bit frustrated by the short response, the student probed a bit deeper...how did you make such good decisions?   Sam Walton replied " I learned from my bad decisions".  Not a very long interview, but the lesson was invaluable!  Experience taught him how to make good decisions!

 Folks, we all learn from experience.  Apply yours, commit to yourself starting right now regarding your future decisions in the 4 areas mentioned earlier, take full responsibility for them and wake up to a better tomorrow!


Please feel free to email me with your comments, stories, ideas or article or links to topics.

gregg.mason.rm@gmail.com

Friendships versus Acquaintances

 

" A friend is one who walks in when others walk out"

  Walter Mitchell

It occurred to me recently while I was at a party hosted by a friend of mine and his family that true friendships are very valuable (and very rare indeed) in life.  I have known my friend Jeff since I was 17 years old.   I was a freshman in college, and we pledged a fraternity together, he taught me to snow ski, and we were roommates when I got engaged.  He was in my wedding in 1982.  I am now 52 and here I was in his house, yucking it up with him and several other friends I have known just as long like no time had passed and we had seen each other yesterday!  I am happy to say that Jeff is, and always has been a "true friend".  He has stayed in touch although he moved to the east coast years ago, and my wife and I were fortunate to attend his wedding years later.

Beyond Jeff, we are blessed with many friends that meet the standards of true friendship, and we value, cherish and hold tightly onto each and every relationship.  We are social creatures, and we desire and hold precious the social aspect of our lives.  In our quest for new friends, we sometimes come across people that we want to believe are true friends, but under closer examination, they unfortunately aren't.

True Friendship

What do I mean by true friendships?  I define them as those people that you meet in life who accept you for what you are, never judge you, never take you down perilous paths or get you to "fall off the wagon" with struggles in your life like losing weight,quitting smoking, a bad relationship, etc....   Instead, they always are there to lend an ear if needed; they encourage you and are there to make you feel better about yourself and your life- not worse.  Don't get me wrong...a true friend is blatantly honest and will tell you what you need to hear because they care for you and are trying to steer you n the right direction.

True friends are always happy for you with your life's successes - not jealous, and will be the first to congratulate you and will want to get together to celebrate your success.   Regardless of social stature, net worth, looks, religion, age or gender, a true friend and you share a very strong bond, usually from having commonality in many core personal beliefs such as trust, integrity, honesty and not trying to be something or someone you are not.......in many ways a true friend is a reflection of all we hold valuable in life, and ethically, what we believe is right and wrong.  Friends can be totally opposite, but for some reason they find each other....quoting the great Jim Morrison " A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself".  I believe that in order for true friendships to survive and thrive they must be  balanced, with a equal amount of "deposits and withdrawals" in the relationship. 

Acquaintances

An "acquaintance" on the other hand, may seem like a friend, but they just don't meet the litmus test when it comes to those characteristics that define a true friend.  How do you tell the difference, and if you have to or need to deal with them, how you should act and how much information about you and your life should you share when they are around? 

Anyone can be a true friend or an acquaintance. Which category do those you know  fall into? 
Some questions to ask yourself about whether someone is just an acquaintance and not a true friend:

1. Does that person come to mind when you need somebody to talk to?
2. Does that person ever appear jealous regarding you or things you share in your life?
3. Is that person ever condescending?
4. Does that person ever try to sabotage goals you have made for yourself in life?
5. Does that person make an effort to reach out to you when you are struggling and offer frank, heartfelt advise as to how to deal with the issue?
6. Does that person talk about you in a negative way to others?
7. Do you and that person share the same beliefs and core values?
8. Do you trust that person?
9. Do you have to be guarded with information about yourself when dealing with them?
10. Does that person make you feel good when you are around them?

Spend a few moments to think about those in your life.....you may have a spouse or significant other, kids, parents or grandparents,  co-workers, former or current classmates,  neighbors, or someone you have met through another friend, at a party, at the gym or at church.   As you start to analyze those on your list, apply the above questions to figure out who is a true friend.  Once you are able to discern that, you will know who should matter the most to you in life and conversely, those who may be damaging you in your relationship that you might want to consider distancing or guarding yourself from.  There is a word called " Frienemy"...defined as "an enemy disguised as a friend or someone who is both a friend and a rival" that may fit some of your acquaintances.

Just as important, think about how others may perceive you as a friend....if they made your list did you make theirs? 

That being said,  acquaintances are part of life, we all have them, and they can be fun to hang around with on occasion.  They may be a convenience or a necessity in our day to day lives, which is OK as long as we understand their role and apply applicable interaction limitations  to those types of relationships.

"Friends make the bad times good and the good times unforgettable"

Kustandwizdom


Please feel free to email me with your comments, stories, ideas or article or links to topics.

gregg.mason.rm@gmail.com

Self Fulfilling Prophecy

" Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy".Brian Tracy

Have you ever heard of a Self Fulfilling Prophecy (SFP)? 

SFP according to one definition I found is "Any positive or negative expectation about circumstances, events, or people that may affect a person's behavior toward them in a manner that causes those expectations to be fulfilled". 


Does it work?   I can think of instances where I had expectations for a situation, and it turned out entirely different than I had anticipated. Same with some people who performed differently than what I expected.   So, if that is true, what is the benefit of discussing SFP ? 

The relevance is that awareness and belief in SFP may give you an advantage and more "wins"  in life.  How?  To me it is a cause and effect proposition - a force of sorts..... if your goal in life is to be more positive, to be a motivator, to encourage and teach others or to be opportunistic, the Self Fulfilling Prophecy concept is probably something you believe in and apply regularly....think "Visualization" and "Law of Attraction" .

Conversely, if you are a pessimist, are critical of situations or people, lack trust, shoot holes in the ideas or efforts of others, believe that everyone and everything in life is against you or that you always get dealt the low hand,  the SFP concept is definitely at work - although you may not recognize it at the time, and may not want to even acknowledge that the concept applies to your situation or your life. 

Remember that  this is an expectation concept that applies to others, but it also applies to one's belief in self!

Life is a numbers game....a salesman will tell you that they may make 100 pitches to sell a service or a product and close only 5 -10% of what they attempt.  But, a good salesman will tell you that in every single one of the 100 attempts they gave it their all- they qualified the prospect, they were prepared, personable, outlined the benefits, and knew when to attempt their close.  They know up front that they won't close 100% of the people they prospect, but they BELIEVE they can, they visualize success and they also recognize that failure is a given on the road to success.  They recognize a "No" puts them one step closer to a "Yes".  This is a good example of the concept at work....without their belief in themselves, a salesman would not have the correct mindset to insure the outcome of successful closings, and realize the success that is the fruit of their efforts. 

I believe there is great benefit in understanding and applying SLP ...positive expectations of ourselves, others and how we view situations we experience will increase the odds for a more successful, positive and happy life.

Please feel free to email me with your comments, stories, ideas or article or links to topics.

gregg.mason.rm@gmail.com

Appreciating the good in your life

“Sometimes we focus so much on what we don't have that we fail to see, appreciate, and use what we do have!”
― Jeff Dixon

The holiday season is an especially great time to spend a few moments to reflect on what you appreciate and are thankful for in your life. Sometimes in our busy world it is too hectic to take a "time-out" to think about this, but let me share with you why it is important for well being.

We all have a unique perception about what is important in our lives.  For some, it's climbing the corporate ladder so they can better provide for themselves and their families....for others, it's helping others through volunteering, counseling or education.  I have several young  relatives that feel taking care of our environment "Mother Earth" is important, and they are not pursuing their life goals in a traditional, structured manner.  



Regardless of what is important to you, equally important is the ability to pause, to look around at what is good in your life, and give thanks for what you have in your life--
your friends, your family, your health, your home.



The "D" Word

In our civilized and structured society, we all take so much for granted.  Our expectations are high for ourselves and what we should get from our life, as if we are somehow entitled to what IT IS that we want......  we deserve a higher education, we deserve the finer things in life, we deserve a nicer home, car, boat,  vacation, job, computer, the list goes on, and on and on......but do we deserve IT, or is IT the things in life that we want and it would be nice to have IT , but we necessarily don't deserve, or even need IT to be healthy and happy in our lives.  

“I was angry because I had no shoes, but then i met a man who had no feet.”  ― Anonymous

Ask a cancer survivor about what is important in their life, and they'll probably tell you their family, their health and their friends.  Ask a child in an undeveloped third world county or a mother in a homeless shelter in our country what's important, and they will tell you warm clothing, shoes, food to feed them and their family, basic transportation and a roof over their heads.

“Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough”
― Oprah Winfrey

Whatever our career, whatever our age and whatever our assets, I believe if we spend more time appreciating what we have, we will always be happier than if we don't. The trap we all face in life is always wanting more while not fully appreciating those precious  and unique things we already have. 

So today ....take a moment and reflect on those treasures you already possess...your family, your kids or grandchildren, your friends, your education,  your job, your home or apartment, your health. 

Because my friends, THAT is what will make you happy in life-- being thankful and appreciative of those things you possess that you simply cannot put a price tag on.

Please feel free to email me with your comments, stories, ideas or article or links to topics.

gregg.mason.rm@gmail.com

Erase Negativity and enjoy a Positive Life!

“Try giving up all the thoughts that make you feel bad, or even just some of them, and see how doing that changes your life. You don't need negative thoughts. All they have ever given you was a false self that suffers. They are all lies.”
― Gina Lake

Negative thoughts...we all have them, but why?   Habit?   Low self esteem?  Home Environment?  Work Environment?  Self Doubt?

Whatever the reason, they exist, and they exist in each of us to varying degrees.  I laugh because my family knows I do this blog, yet there are times that I will get home from work and just dive in with negativity about stupid things that really don't matter in life. Or, I'll be at work, same thing....something just kicks on that negativity button, and whether it is my inner consciousness talking to me about why I can't do something or my directing the thoughts outward to others.....these thoughts make us feel bad about ourselves, about others, makes those exposed to the behavior feel bad, etc.......No doubt about it, negativity can be a real downer internally and  it places a dark cloud over our relationships with spouses, children, friends and family.

Negative thoughts are not healthy, and we should all practice ways and methods to minimize and eliminate them them from our way of thinking.

I created a list of three simple  things we can do to address and control our exposure and reaction to negative thoughts in our lives.

1)  Many times negative thoughts are self-inflicted-- we need to make a pledge to ourself not to let negative thoughts into our mind, and if they do appear, we need to acknowledge them, be aware of them and banish them or replace them  with positive thoughts...practice willfully taking a negative thought that you encounter frequently and turning it around.

2) Dealing with Negative People:   Many times, if we are in an environment around negative people, we need to be prepared for their perspective before they open their mouth, and train ourselves not to overreact to their comments.  If the barrage is simply too much to take, we need to get away from it...unfortunately, just like positive thoughts breed positive thoughts, negativity breeds negativity.   Did you know that countering a negative with a positive can turn things around almost instantaneously?  Try it, it works really well in a group setting especially if the target is another person.

3) Remember who is in control of our life.  It's not our spouse, our boss, our Mom...it's US!  Our persona is  defined not only by our actions, but also by our reaction to other's actions.  Use that knowledge to create a better self.
  
It's simple really....Positive thoughts allow us to flourish and be happier, whereas negative thoughts will make us feel terrible, depressed and dejected.  Take the following situation as an example: a friend or spouse is preparing themselves for a job interview, and they are self-doubting their abilities....prior to the interview you tell them how positive they are, how great they look, or that you know their abilities will shine in the interview...realize it or not, you've just planted a seed and my bet is they do better in the interview  than if you told them "You're right, you are not qualified, you haven't dressed well enough, you seem depressed"....see the difference? 

Live Positively...there really is no better approach to a happy life!